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4 golden rules of acing your role as a Daughter-In-Law


Being part of various ladies-only forums and groups on Facebook I come across at least 20 posts everyday where the girl keeps on whining and ranting against her "Inlaws". Comments such as...

  • They don't treat me as they treat their own daughter...
  • I don't have any privacy
  • I can't do things the way I like to do..oh and yes the classic case of
  • My husband is a Chicken...he doesn't take a stand for me ever!!....... are ubiquitous on these forums...and it makes one wonder..when did all these monster-in-laws invade the planet earth?!!...
I myself am a married young woman and no I won't brag and say that my relation has been perfect and all smiles...like every relation God made, this one has had its due share of ups and downs too..come to think of it even our relation with God isn't perfect...cause we are but human...and so my dear readers...the inlaws on both sides of the spectrum act very much humane and hence start the never ending chronicles of the Saas,Bahoo and Chicken aka husband triad :p

So what are the rules of acing this relationship...(The very soundtrack of "we are the champions" by Queen is ringing in my ears at this very instance..:p and yes that should be  the background score every time you see your inlaws pass you a smile and welcome you with arms wide open...(The two take immense effort I tell you..)..so yes the rules are here for you to read and implement...

1) Understand the suffix "In-law", in the Mother-In-Law
       We expect our mother in laws to act as our mothers...and why shouldn't we..until the big day every mother in law to be is found saying that yeh to meri beti hai (she is my daughter)...and the beti gets disowned the very night she sets her feet in the house...Why???..simple reason being that she isn't and cannot be and act like your beti..her anatomy,her upbringing,her personality all differs from you...she is your daughter in "law" (simply meaning a daughter bound by laws and not by biology) so don't build a barrage expectations.  For the Daughter in laws...my message is simple..you could have whined,slept all day and fought with your mother(I did too) but never try this with your Saas..trust me it will backfire


2) Silence is to marriage as seasoning is to Salad
    French dressing and a hint of lemon is the perfect seasoning that brings flavor to my salads. Likewise,for me silence in your marriage brings about the same flavor and by silence I don't mean bearing an abusive relationship at all...I mean..why bring your relation to the brink of being abusive?,,being silent when your mother in law is losing her temper is a step forward to saving your relationship with her forever...(Trust me she will eventually realize that you are making an effort to make it work...and no she won't say it out..ever..so stop expecting that...you will just have to wait for small smile from her and fish out for that twinkle in her eye....and get your green signal..!!

3) Benefit of Doubt..the gift you should give most often...
Ever wondered why and when did your mother-in-law become so bitter? is it the insecurity of losing her son to his beloved or is it a matter with roots much deeper than that...mostly( and well there are obviously exceptions to this case)..if you track a bit of family history you will realize that your MOL (mother in law) actually reproduces what she had borne when she was in your shoes..call it revenge or call it human nature..this is how it is...but you can put an end to this vicious cycle..by giving her that moment of pride,treating her like the queen bee and giving her,her two minutes to fame..that is all that she will ever ask for..trust me..(its easier said ,than done..but give it a shot..the results will amaze you)

4) Unite and Rule...
We have all heard of Divide and rule..but my dear Bahu..life will be a bed of roses..if you unite the inlaws..become one of them..don't think of running away with your husband to Bermuda Triangle..(hehe..most of us think like that to escape the wrath of the inlaws)..your husband is her son first..can you bear the fact that tomorrow your son deserts you just because of his beloved? Just the thought gives me goosebumps..try and try again...and try yet again...only you are the captain of the ship and can steer it out from the stormy winds..trust me you can...

And now..for all my gemlike Bahus...my all time favorite

                                                            Queen-We are the champions



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