For reasons unknown..I always tend to define life situations through music...(you might have figured this one out by the musical touch that every post of mine offers....) There have always been songs that make me happy...make me vengeful..make me giddy...and yes my utmost favorite are the ones that are mellower...make me sad..make me ponder...somehow sorrow brings with it a barrage of points to ponder over for me...a recent entrant to this list of mine is Mera Pyar Tum He ho.....
Zaki created this piece of art at the prime of his short lived career....although I was still too naive back then to really understand the true meaning of the song ...(superficially it seems to be for a beloved...for whom Zaki must have been head over heels...)..but today as I hear this song...just to remember him once more...I feel he sang this song as an ode to his passion..and his passion was nothing more and nothing less than the six strings tied to a piece of wood...something that I never lost sight of as long as I saw him on TV. His guitar...something that stood by him when no one else did.
When my mom heard of Zaki's demise...she started off with the regular motherly rants of how the music industry is a bad place to be ..how it gets you live through hell and back just so that someone else like me can hear a beautiful melody and make my day...she specially was infuriated at how the media didn't really value the gem that he was.... I agreed with her mostly but then as I started to pen this down..I got thinking...I asked my self if really, it was all true...
Every profession...be it being a teacher,a doctor...a lawyer.,every profession..I repeat...requires a balance.....If I go on teaching my students all day long..just because I am passionate about my subject...and want to impart all my knowledge..I do not think I'll be paid much heed too...(who cares about a lousy old lecturer who goes on an on, anyways..who wants to turn a keen ear to someone who doesn't listens to her audience...)...
This is exactly what these musicians forget over the course of their zeal filled lives...creating melodies that provide solace to them might not be what the audience was seeking out for...and when the odds are in your face..these sensitive souls get bouts of utter depression..they break down...they can't take the feeling of their work ( a great piece of art) being rejected...(come to think of it..when I write something..I check my blogger account ten times a day just to see how many people commented and viewed my piece of writing..I am beaming that day, when people around me pass away with words of encouragement.All this is for something that takes merely an hour of effort)..imagine..someone working over a melody for some excruciating six months..and then seeing it fail...we all being humans..can't deal with it all..its way too much a burden for our souls...
Death, as I see it brings about the best in people..people who might have ignored Zaki's repeated calls asking for loans..or avoiding his bipolar mood swings might be the ones showering him with hearty condolences today...(truthfully, he was the forgotten chapter of a very good book)...but death refreshed all those good memories..once again...
I am not an expert on music or on psychological disorders...but I hope that my two cents on this tragic death might save another young soul following the same fate...life never stays the same..your creativity has its peaks and lows...the artificial world of your recording studio is your safe haven..but beyond that is a world that is looking out for you like a hungry eagle..it wont value your efforts..it wont see how you stayed up through out the night for the past six months to create a sound perfect for our ears...this hungry eagle..will be looking out for times when you are down in your dumps...it will laugh at you when it sees you lost....lost in the darkness of your own soul....
To all the passionate musicians around...